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HOUSE ON FIRE

We came into our marriage with very different ideas about conflict. Chris operated under a “no news is good news” mentality. If we weren’t disagreeing, then our relationship was good. The inverse, then, meant that if we were disagreeing, the relationship was not good. Worse, he didn’t have a picture of how to engage with disagreement. If “fight or flight” is our animalistic reaction to danger, fighting felt wrong and scary, and flight became his default way of handling it every time. His flight, though, meant that when inevitable conflict arose, we each felt alone - me trying to fight through the problem with no reciprocal response, Chris trying to run and preserve the relationship on hi

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